Polarity of Us Read online

  Eleven

  Bastian

  Daisy was unbelievable.

  I couldn’t take my eyes off her as she interacted with Addy. A compilation of everything about Daisy and now, how she acted with Addy thawed that frozen void I’d had inside my heart for so long. I wasn’t sure what to do about it. Seeing the way Addy responded to her, sent waves of warmth through my chest. Addy was very social with people, but she never opened with them nearly as much as she opened with Daisy. There was always a fine line even she seemed to keep in mind when she interacted with others, but with Daisy that line blurred, and she embraced Daisy.

  I knew Daisy saw me watching her, just as I knew she secretly watched me.

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want Daisy after tonight. I couldn’t admit it to myself the last few days since meeting her. But now after spending time with her, and seeing her blossom, smile, and laugh, I’d be insane not to want her. Everything about her invited me in and hooked me at my center.

  She was a breath of air when I had forgotten how to breath.

  A touch of the sun when my body had been completely frozen.

  A light in the dark when I thought I’d never see it again.

  She was everything.

  What truly set these emotions into motion, was seeing Addy entwine her pinky with Daisy’s. It had always been our thing. I never thought I’d see her do that with someone else. What had been something so special between just us, given so easily to Daisy, only solidified those warring feelings I’d had since meeting her.

  Could I truly be happy again? Could I accept the glaring fact that I shouldn’t want to be happy when I thought Eve had been my one and only mate?

  Daisy made me question everything, yet somehow, she felt like the answer to all my questions.

  After we were sure Addy was asleep, I softly closed her door. Daisy went to walk towards the living room, but I gently grabbed her arm to stop her.

  “Grab your coat and come outside with me?” I asked her. She smiled and nodded, going and grabbing her jacket then following me through the kitchen.

  When we stepped out the back door, she wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing away that first hit of cold air. She tilted her head in confusion. “You’re not cold?”

  I shoved my hands into the pockets of my pajama pants and shook my head. “I run a bit warmer than most people, I guess. This is comfortable to me.” I gave her a shrug and stepped around to one of the rocking chairs. I sat down and Daisy took the chair next to me.

  “I’ve never been in this type of cold before. Chicago is the coldest place I’ve been and it’s really not too bad. This is different.” She shivered a little.

  “We can go back inside if it’s too cold. I just feel more at ease and calm when I’m in nature.”

  She shook her head and waved a hand dismissively. “No, no. I’m fine. Thank you, though.”

  I bobbed my head and leaned on my arms, trying to find the words I wanted to say to her. “Daisy, what you did tonight with Addy meant a lot to her. To have her favorite book read to her at bed time by the very author of the book, made the highlight of her day; probably even her week. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

  She chuckled. “It’s no problem. I was flattered that she wanted me to in the first place. Knowing that a book I wrote is her favorite made it a real honor. She’s an amazing girl.”

  “She is. I sometimes can’t believe I managed to raise her when she’s far better, smarter, and purer than I ever was at her age.” I leaned back in the chair and began to rock, watching Daisy do the same.

  “She had to learn it from somewhere. I find it hard to believe you can’t believe it. That girl makes all your faces and even laughs like you. Did you know that?”

  I actually didn’t know that. “No. I knew she sounded like me, but I never really noticed much else.”

  “She is a mini you. And that’s a good thing. You did good, Bastian. You’re very lucky.”

  Her praise sent a satisfied rumble through my chest. Thankfully, she didn’t hear it, but it shocked the hell out of me. My inner bear hadn’t done that in years. Just another thing to add to the list of things Daisy brought out of me that no other had since Eve.

  “Tonight was nice. I haven’t seen her so carefree and happy. I think I owe that to you. Thank you.”

  Daisy blushed and averted her eyes from my stare. My heart picked up a little at seeing the flush in her cheeks. It was breathtaking when she did that. My mind began to ponder if the rest of her body flushed like that. The things I would do to her body… stop it, Bastian, I chided myself. Now was not the time to be thinking of her naked.

  Thankfully, she began talking again.

  “You’re welcome,” she said, brushing a hair behind her ear. “I had a great time. It feels nice to laugh like this again. I can relate to Addy not smiling and laughing as much. It’s been a hard year and this has probably been the highlight of many years for me.” She stood and walked to the edge of the porch, folding her arms on the railing and leaning out to look up at the lights.

  “I’ve always dreamed of seeing those,” she pointed up. “I was unsure about coming here when Hannah suggested it for a vacation, but now…”

  I stood and walked over, leaning next to her on the railing. “Now?”

  She turned and set her stunning hazel eyes on me. “Now, it has been one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Seeing them and this beautiful town.” She paused, biting her lip and blushing again. “Meeting Addy… meeting you.”

  With the longing look she gave me and beauty of the swirling lights reflecting in her eyes, it made the desire to kiss her almost unbearable. Her plump lips were so inviting.

  But I couldn’t. I wanted to desperately, but I just couldn’t.

  It didn’t matter how badly I wanted her, we could never happen. She wasn’t staying here, and I was more than what I seemed. She didn’t know what Addy and I truly were, and I could never tell her. I wasn’t even sure she would even want me if she knew. Not to mention, Addy’s feelings came first. I couldn’t just start something up with someone who was leaving. It wasn’t fair to have Addy bond so closely with her, only for her to be ripped away. There was also the glaring fact that I felt like it might be a betrayal to Eve.

  So many feelings warred against every instinct I had to kiss Daisy.

  So as hard as it was to pull away from taking that plunge, I did.

  “I should walk you home,” I whispered, still not able to take my eyes off hers. “Even though it’s not far, we still have an array of dangerous wildlife here that wanders into town at night.”

  I could see a slight look of disappointment flash across her face, but it was gone as quickly as it appeared. She simply smiled and nodded. “Thank you. I’d appreciate that.”

  We began to slowly walk towards her cabin in a comfortable silence.

  Electricity raced down my spine every time her shoulder brushed mine as we walked, making it extremely hard to hold onto the reasons why I hadn’t kissed her.

  But then she said something that almost made me stop in my tracks.

  “Speaking of wildlife, I saw two polar bears by the lake earlier today. I couldn’t believe it. Do they normally wander into town? Aunt Em said it happened all the time, but I didn’t think they came this far south.”

  I swallowed hard, wanting to hit myself over the head for not paying more attention to our surroundings when Addy and I shifted earlier. It had just been too long since it happened, and we were both dying to let our animals loose.

  “Not usually, but it happens sometimes. Were so close to where they do frequent that sometimes we get lucky enough to spot them.” This was my rehearsed answer in case anybody ever came asking.

  Daisy stopped and gave me a funny look. “You and Aunt Em sound just the same with your answers. Your tones don’t sound convinced. Should I be worried about a polar bear rummaging through my trash or something?”

  I choked out a laugh, thankful she wasn’t
going where I thought she was with that. I was worried there for a second that Emery had said something to her. “No, they won’t be going through your trash. Trust me, you probably won’t see any again.” I answered honestly. I’d have to break the news to Addy that we wouldn’t be shifting again until after both of our new neighbors left. Hopefully, we could hold out that long, since we had no idea how long they were staying.

  “I’m almost disappointed by that answer,” she responded as we continued walking. “Polar bears are my favorite animal. It’s the reason I used them for the book.”

  I tried not to look at her in surprise. It made me feel a little better knowing I changed into an animal she loved. “They’re mine and Addy’s favorite, too.” I couldn’t wipe the large grin from my face at the irony of it all.

  “Well, how about that?” Daisy said, bumping her shoulder into mine playfully.

  When we got to her cabin, she stopped at her front door and turned to me. “Thank you for dinner, and for letting me hang out with you and Addy. It was really special.”

  God, she is so beautiful…

  “Anytime,” I replied. “I’m sure Addy won’t let you leave here without hanging out with us again.”

  She laughed and nodded her head. “Yeah, I had a feeling she would. And I’d love to anytime. I’m making pretty good time on my book, so I’m free whenever. Just give me a call, or you know, throw a rock from your cabin to mine.”

  I chuckled and rubbed a hand on the back of my neck. I felt like a teenager again standing here with her. “I’ll do that. Goodnight, Daisy.” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets.

  She gave me a shy smile. “Night, Bastian.” Then she opened the door and stepped inside.

  I stood there for a moment after she closed the door, soaking in her lingering scent. What I wouldn’t give to smell that tantalizing smell every day.

  As I slowly made my way back home, I looked up at the lights in the sky. Tonight, they seemed brighter than usual. I knew they weren’t literally brighter, but somehow being around Daisy made them look that way. Everything seemed to lighten more with her. My surroundings. My daughter. My heart.

  It was going to be hard trying to keep these emotions in check the rest of her stay.

  I wasn’t entirely confident I could handle it.

  Twelve

  Daisy

  Even after being in White Hemlock for a week now, I still forgot how cold it could get here in the mornings during the last bit of autumn.

  I laid there for a few minutes after waking up, still thinking about the night I had with Bastian and Addy two days ago. When I finally left the warm comfort of the bed, I quickly threw on one of my sweaters and some fuzzy socks, before heading downstairs. Hannah was already awake, fully dressed, and making coffee when I made it into the kitchen.

  “You’re up early,” she said, pouring me a cup and passing it to me.

  I yawned loudly and looked at the clock on the wall. It was barely seven a.m. I grabbed my coffee and sat down at the table, letting the heat from the cup thaw my frozen fingers. “I don’t think I’ve slept that peaceful and hard in a long time. Usually, I’m tossing and turning, so I end up sleeping later than I want to.”

  She sat across from me with a cheeky grin. When I looked at her, she tried hiding it behind her mug, but I already caught it.

  “What’s that face for?” I asked accusingly.

  She shrugged; the grin still not disappearing. “Oh, nothing. I just think it’s because you’ve been thinking about a certain white-haired, blue-eyed hottie next door. I don’t blame you, really.”

  “I am not!” I gawked at her. “I went over there to give him brownies and ended up getting conned by a cute kid to stay for dinner; that was it. I talked more with Addy than him.”

  She laughed. “Daisy, you brought him brownies. Your special homemade brownies that you only made for Matthew when you wanted to –…”

  I threw my hand up, stopping that sentence before she finished it. “We are not doing this again. They were just brownies. I was being neighborly. That. Is. It. They were not the ‘I wanna get laid’ brownies.”

  “Then pray tell, what is the difference if it’s the same damn recipe?” She said, throwing in a very exaggerated eye roll. We’d had this argument since the morning after that night with them.

  She ended up interrogating me about what happened when I didn’t come home until late. It took a solid ten minutes to get her to calm down after I told her about our little moment on his porch. I had wanted him to kiss me so bad, but it wasn’t the right time. I was leaving and he had a daughter to think about. He shouldn’t have to worry about introducing a new woman into Addy’s life when she wasn’t even living here.

  “There’s no difference, but they still weren’t for that,” I replied, crossing my arms in defiance.

  “Uh huh, sure. Whatever you wanna tell yourself. You can try and deny it, but you like him. You started writing more since you met him. You can’t deny that one. Something inspired you and I believe that something is tall, silent, and sexy.”

  I wasn’t about to tell her she was right, or I’d risk her throwing an ‘I told you so’ in my face every day for the rest of eternity. I didn’t want to like him and probably had no right to. There was no way it would work between us. But at the same time, he was like a damn magnetic field; drawing me in no matter how fast I ran in the opposite direction. When I came back from visiting, I couldn’t stop the words from flowing as I sat on the porch the next day. My fingers flew across my keyboard with lightning speed as I wrote four more chapters into my book. It was the most writing I’d done in at least eighteen months.

  “You’re thinking about him.”

  I glared at her and sipped my coffee, doing my best to wipe any dreamy looks I may have had on my face. “Shut up and tell me what your plans are for today,” I demanded.

  Thankfully, she dropped the subject.

  “Me and Auntie are going over to the next city for some shopping at the mall. I need some heavier winter clothes. She says the snow will be picking up harder within the next week or so, and we’re not prepared for it. You coming with us?”

  As much as I wanted to scope out whatever mall they were going to, I really wanted to try writing some more. Maybe get some hiking done. I’d been so excited to see all that nature had to offer here since we got into town. It’d been calling my name. Hannah would never go with me, because she hated the outdoors.

  “Geez! More snow? I should’ve guessed. Nah, you two go ahead. I’m probably going to veg out in front of my laptop and possibly go explore the trails. We’ve been here a week and I’ve yet to hike the ones Aunt Em told us about.”

  She made a face of disgust. It was exactly the reaction I figured she’d give me.

  “I cannot believe you’re choosing climbing rocks and trekking through foliage over getting new clothes. But, whatever. I’ll grab you a couple of thicker jackets and shirts.”

  “Don’t knock it til you try it, Hannah Banana. You’d be surprised how calming it is to be surrounded by nature.”

  She waved her hand at me dismissively. “Yeah, yeah. Go have fun with your dirt and trees. I’ll be sucking down a venti cappuccino and modeling some stellar snow boots.”

  “You just got new snow boots before we got here. I swear, you can take the girl out of the city …” I didn’t need to finish the phrase.

  She chuckled and winked at me. “You got that right. I’m going to get my purse and coat, then meet Auntie at her cabin. Keep your cell on and make sure you’re back before dark. God knows, if you get lost, my ass won’t be able to save you.”

  “Yes, mom.” I replied sarcastically as she walked by, both of us giggling at how true that statement was.

  She couldn’t help me up if I tripped five feet out the back door. She was deficient when it came to trampling through the woods. This place felt like nothing more than a secluded getaway for her. To me it felt deeper. I could breathe better here; both figuratively and
literally. I felt more relaxed and level headed away from the suffocation of the concrete jungle and bustling populous.

  Here, I was more me than I’d ever been in a place I lived my whole life. I just hoped when we left, I could take myself back with me.

  An hour after Hannah left to meet Aunt Em, I settled down with another cup of coffee and my laptop on the front porch. It was a little cooler outside today than yesterday after the snow fall last night. I plugged my headphones in and selected a soothing song to get my head in the game. Kettering by The Antlers flowed quietly into my ears, easing my mind into that perfect state I needed to write. But the second I started to type, I saw movement across the way where Bastian’s cabin was.

  I peered through the trees separating the yards and watched as he walked to a stump rooted in his back yard. He was in a thermal blue shirt and some black sweat pants, lugging an axe over one shoulder. After seeing him shirtless, it was still a bitch trying not to imagine all of what I saw. I tried prying my eyes away, but when the distinctive thud sounded, I couldn’t stop observing him. He had pulled a bunch of large logs and started cutting them down into smaller pieces.

  Even with the few hundred feet and trees blocking some of my view, I could still make out the way his chest and arm muscles rippled beneath his shirt with each swing of the axe. The beat of each swing hitting the log, matched the beat to the quiet music playing in my ears. His white hair fell over his eyes every time he came down, making him flick his head a few times to throw the wayward strands away.

  He was undeniably beautiful.

  He moved with an even amount of power and grace that the most skilled lumberjacks had no way of possessing. His face was set in blank determination as he chopped log after log, never looking disheveled or winded as he continued.

  When he stopped to swipe his hair from his face and took a sip from his water bottle, his eyes swung up to look in my direction. It was almost as if he felt my stare. He saw me and gave me a wave, making me blush that he’d caught me watching him. I waved back and sighed as he went back to work. I felt like an idiot, but it made me smile that he waved.